It’s shaping up to be one of the most memorable slots of the year; the Phantom of the Opera hits our casino on the 1st of November.
While the slot is based on a hit film, itself inspired by a much-loved musical, Phantom of the Opera was originally a novel, first released back in 1910. The tale of a hideously misshapen misfit who reinvents himself as the tragic, monstrous Phantom, the story takes place at the Paris Opera House – but who’s to say it couldn’t benefit from being relocated to somewhere a little more 21st century?
If we liked spending our time skulking about in the shadows, yearning tragically for a secret love whilst simultaneously scheming to bump off our enemies by dropping a chandelier on their head, sure, an opera house would be one way to go.
But why box yourself in? Times have changed; if the Phantom was about nowadays, we reckon he’d be better off finding a more contemporary location to haunt. Such as…
The Phantom of the Motorway Service Station
As weary travellers pull into their nearest services to find sustenance or simply the blessed relief of a toilet, beware the ghastly presence of the Phantom. If these innocent motorists knew that the Phantom was lurking somewhere in the vicinity, closely monitoring their behaviour, surely their heart would skip a beat. Or at the very least they might actually behave with some decorum in the cubicles, electing not to piss all over the seat, for instance. Good job Phantom.
The Phantom of the Amusement Park
There’s not much that can make the ordeal of visiting an amusement park any more traumatic. From forking out £20 for a plate of lukewarm fast food that makes Tesco’s value meals look like the tasting menu at the Fat Duck, to negotiating queues for rides that resemble M C Escher-style optical illusions, the entire experience seems custom-designed to dismay. The only faint chance of respite is the prospect that your rollercoaster might just malfunction, plunging you toward the sweet release of oblivion.
That’s unlikely to happen, of course. But maybe if the Phantom got his arse in gear and started popping up on rides and freaking people out a bit, rather than just pouting like a teenager, this whole amusement park experience could be dramatically improved. Come on Phantom, pull your finger out!
The Phantom of the Affordable Chain Pub
If the Phantom is looking to lay low, perhaps even find acceptance, he could do worse than camp out in one of these boozers. With a selection of reasonably-priced food and a decent range of real ales, the affordable chain pub offers sanctuary to life’s misfits and miscreants. And the boost in self-esteem that would come from living in close proximity to this pub’s diehard, daytime customers cannot be overstated; while these regulars shamble around the place like post-apocalyptic survivors in the final stages of radiation poisoning, old Phanty-boy would actually look pretty cheerful by comparison.
The Phantom of the Overpriced Technology Store
With a procession of peppy young people making a beeline towards any person foolhardy enough to venture into these places, the mere act of entry is fraught with tension. With limitlessly perky members of staff who insist on helping you even though you just wanted to take a quick look at the cheapest items and would prefer not to spend £2,000 on a sodding laptop, it can be difficult to negotiate these locales.
That’s where the Phantom comes in; let him prowl around in the shadows, creating an unsettling atmosphere of menace, perhaps dangling theatrically from the ceiling while concealing his features with a mask of Steve Jobs’ face. In no time, those upbeat workers will be churning with as much dread and neurosis as the rest of us, making for a far more bearable visit. Way to go, Phantom chum.
The Phantom of the Opera arrives on 1st November. In the meantime, check out our latest selection of slots at 32Red.com – you can choose from a range of popular table games like roulette and blackjack, and literally hundreds of slots.